Last weekend I was at a friend's passover Seder (for those who don't know a Seder is a traditional Jewish feast held in late March or April). As I'm not very familiar with Jewish tradition (and moreover I knew about 3 people at the table of 15) I just sat back and partook in the meal as a polite observer.
And man did I learn a lot.
While yes, I found out what a Seder was what particularly struck me was the dialogue that my friend Julia decided on for the event. Basically at a Seder a script is passed around from person to person at the table from which passages of dialogue are recited, followed by various ritual actions. What was interesting to me however was the selection of text Julia had picked. While the ritual actions that were conducted at the Seder were pretty much the same at any other Seder (so I'm told), their significance was different as Julia customized the script to represent the ideals of those at the table (read a bunch of loony leftys). As a result, there was no mention of 'God' in the entire event and a re-understanding of certain rituals to symbolize the importance of gay and lesbian Jews in the community, and finding a peaceful resolution in the conflict between Israel and Palestine.
As well, one of the other attendees (Ali) was Bangladeshi and told us all that the next day (April 15) was Bengali New Year and that he was going to celebrate it by 'going through the motions that he remembered' and of course this specifically involved consuming large quantities of food.
This got me thinking about the importance of ritual for us young adults who have grown up with a a predominantly secular identity. This rings particularly true for children of immigrant families be it second, third or (in my case) fourth generation. How important is it to maintain these rituals as we become more and more distanced from the 'motherland' or 'home' culture? Is the 'authenticity' of the ritual 'watered down' as we re imagine their significance? Or is a new identity and authenticity formed?
In my personal situation I don't hide the fact that I hold onto many traditional Confucian ideals despite considering myself a progressive. For example, when my grandfather died I didn't even think twice when I had to take care of his house for the summer because the rest of the family was busy and my application to law school was more than a little influenced by my heavy-handed parents and grandparents. However unlike most Chinese-Canadians, I'm not particularly bothered or burdened by filial piety, but understand it as my responsibility.
So is it possible to still consider myself liberal if I still cling to old tradition and ritual? What if this tradition is problematic or directly contradicts my more progressive beliefs (as is the case with many old Chinese customs)? Can we find a middle ground in re-interpreting customs? If culture is a collective identity, do we distance ourselves from it if we interpret our rituals on an individual level?
I don't really have any answers to these questions, but I'm muddling through it decently enough. And yet, while Julia and Ali were able to figure out how they were going to preserve links to their cultural heritage I completely forgot to celebrate Qingming. In an attempt to rectify this oversight - and pay homage to a great man (as I have no tombstones in Montreal to sweep) - I decided to burn some incense at the statue of Norman Bethune. While it was a bit weird to be doing this two weeks late (and I had a ton of people staring at me) it nevertheless felt good. For better or for worse...filial piety upheld.
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