Rob Moment #5432

So periodically I help the old woman on the fourth floor of my apartment carry her groceries up the stairs. No biggie, but feel free to compare me to Jesus.

Anyway, yesterday after I carried her bags up the stairs she seemed particularly friendly and spread her arms wide open. Now, coming from the West coast I interpret this as her saying 'give me a hug' and thus, I lean in and wrap my arms around her. In Quebec however, spreading one's arms means she wanted to 'faire la bise' (for the uninitiated, this means we kiss each other on the cheeks).

In the resulting jumble of limbs and lips the old woman ended up kissing my neck and (as I realized I was doing the wrong thing) I ended up kissing the inside of her ear (Hey! She was short!) and not wanting to be awkward I decided to complete the action by continuing to kiss her on the opposite cheek as she stared dumbfounded at my inability to properly conduct the most basic of basic French customs.

Rob Moment #4556

Rob arrives back to Concordia after being away for a month...

Phil: Hurrow...
Rob: What?
Phil: Hurrow?
Rob: What the fuck Phil?
Phil: I'm speaking Chinese...
Rob: What? What the fuck? What kind of racist shit is that?
Phil: I'm saying 'good meat.'
Rob: Ohhhhhh... I thought you were saying hello with a really bad Chinese accent.
Phil: (in a sad voice) I just wanted to show you what Mandarin I've learned while you were gone...
Rob: Whoops.

My! Fobby! Father!

I know this was posted on my Facebook a while ago but I've been really busy now that I'm back in Vancouver and I'm suffering from standard blogger guilt for not posting in a while so I'm gonna be lazy and re-hash.



So my parents visited me this weekend for graduation and I totally forgot what its like to live with them. This was compounded by the fact that all three of us had to live in my tiny studio apartment for four days. As me and my dad waited for my mom's plane to arrive we had this gem of a discussion.

-----Rob exits the bathroom to see dad rummaging through his underwear drawer-----
Rob: Dad, what the hell...
Dad: You only have boxers in here Robert, briefs are better.
Rob: I appreciate the concern dad, but I prefer boxers thanks.
Dad: No! Briefs are better...
-----Dad then unbuckles his belt, drops his pants to his knees and points to his groin-----
Dad: ...see?
Rob: Dad, I'm going to turn around, go back into the washroom and when I come out I expect your to have your pants back on.
Dad: But briefs have better support!

The competition between boxers and briefs is now done. Taking your pants off in front of your son and pointing to your crotch is a definite violation of the rules. The ref is standing on the sidelines blowing the whistle and boxers win by default. For some reason this reminds me of the time Mike head butted a girl in a fencing competition. Black card dad...BLACK CARD.

Concordia University is a small small place...

Rob enters the Hall building elevator with a young couple.

Boy in elevator (to girl): So what are you doing on campus?

Girl in elevator: I'm taking an online course, Sociology 282.

Rob's ears perk up as he's a TA for that very same class.

Boy in elevator: Really how's that going?

Girl in elevator: It's a lot of writing. I haven't even done the readings that much but I'm getting by by looking stuff up on Wikipedia.

Boy in elevator: Awesome, you outsmarted them.

Robert tries as hard as humanly possible to hold in his laughter as they get off the elevator.


Now how bad would it be to enter the admin system and try to figure out who that girl is? Man, she is so lucky I hold myself a somewhat strict code of ethics. I am however, cross referencing every paper I mark now through Wikipedia. Foolish undergrads, thinking TAs have never cheated before. Just wait and see how hardass I am at the final exam dearie. I know all the tricks.